Don't Mention The War

Typical. My favorite group of students have spent the post-April period morphing into a band of noisy spawn hell-demons, much to my regret and disappointment. And then, when it comes to the week where I tell them I’m leaving, they revert to being the friendly, warm, earnest young people that I fell for in the first place. This would all be much easier if they could just revert to the brat-mode of a few weeks ago.

I think there’s a tendency amongst ALTs to exaggerate their closeness to students and/or the esteem by which the students hold them. ALTs do like to boast about:

a)How cool the students think they are.

b) How beautiful the students think they are.

c) The level of trust and intimacy they have with their students.

d) How much their students fancy them.

It can be a bit unattractive and ties into the supposed “film-star” status that some ALTs feel on arriving in Japan. I could write a lengthy post about the self-esteem boost that male ALTs receive on arriving here to be treated like movie stars by elements of the local female population. It’s a bit more complex than this, but we can’t pretend it’s not both played up to and a boost to the ego for some.

Anyway, one aspect of returning to UK life will be the absence of otherness. We will once again be just one of the crowd. In Japan, we are really only defined by our otherness. We are not Japanese and that’s what makes us stand out. But in the UK, it’s our own dress style, personality, interests etc. that mark us out as individuals. I’ve joked on this blog about my increasingly dodgy dress sense in Japan. Part of this might be that I have a 30 year-old’s increased focus on practicality. But it’s also in part due to the fact that no-one from home will ever see me in my waterproof jacket and stupid hat. So one part of my readjustment on returning to the UK is that I will again make more effort in what I wear and how I present myself-and this is mainly due to external pressures rather than any idea of “looking good for myself”.

Since arriving in Japan, I’ve taken part in a monthly English-language discussion group attended by some English teachers in Okayama. For the past few months, they’ve been reading  the book of The King’s Speech and having little discussions about it. The book itself is alright-it’s utterly fawning towards both the king and Logue, but it’s interesting enough if you like that kind of thing. One problem with the book is that it covers the outbreak of World War 2. This means the War is a difficult subject to avoid and it has come up intermittently in our discussions. I’d love to have full and frank discussions about Japan’s wartime and immediately post-wartime history. It’s kind of fascinating. But that’s never going to be feasible in this country. Any time the subject comes up, it feels uncomfortable. People aren’t especially comfortable talking about their opinions here anyway, so it’s a subject you have to be careful around.

Also, if you want to know just what a lot of made up monarchist crap, the film of The King’s Speech was, just listen to a recording of the actual speech here. See, it was a rubbish speech. The guy took half an hour to string a sentence together. That’s who we had as our ceremonial leader at the time of our greatest ever national crisis. If the head of state had been elected we’d have chosen someone who could string a sentence together, with better health, a less foreign background and a sprinkling of charisma. Instead we were left with this guy who couldn’t even read a speech that was laid out in front of him. And it may sound as if I’m picking on people with speech impediments here, but it seems to me that if the main duty of your job is to make speeches, then we ought to have had someone who could fulfil that function competently. So this story is actually the tale of a dysfunctional political system and the coaching of someone who clearly wasn’t up to the job, like a low grade civil servant on ineffective performance management measures. Sigh.

Sleepwalking

I’m sleepwalking through my job right now, pretty much on autopilot as far as my day to day duties are concerned. It’s difficult to be genki when your inclination is to lie down and catch your breath, but I am trying. Nonetheless, the past couple of days have been pretty satisfying.

I had a great conversation with some of my junior high second year students yesterday about the perils of juku (cram school) and homework. Even though some of my second year classes have become a bit rowdy these past few months, they are probably my favourite group of students. Their level of English has advanced at a frightening rate. This is one advantage of teaching at an academic school. When I first met them they could barely do a self introduction. Now, they are intermittently confident English speakers, able to express themselves and capable of understanding 60% of what I throw at them.

I don’t mean to imply that this improvement is down to me. It’s mainly due to the excellent teachers at my school, its emphasis at early junior-level on genuine communication skills and the students’ hard work. They have put my lazy Japanese skills to shame.

I feel really proud of them in a way that I never expected to when I came here. Teaching English was never a motivational factor in my decision to come to Japan. It was merely a means to an end, which was to experience a foreign culture and properly explore a country I was fascinated with. I have no particular love for kids, especially teenagers and the idea of spending my time surrounded by them made me slightly nervous to be honest.

But it hasn’t quite turned out how I expected. Firstly, the kids are great. There’s a unity to the group and a carelessness about their nature that’s really appealing and which can totally put you at ease. I’ve found myself really rooting for them on so many levels. So much so that it makes me want to work hard for them and improve my teaching on their behalf.

Secondly, I’ve enjoyed the creativity of teaching. I’m pretty decent at it. There’s nothing like watching a lesson you’ve planned run perfectly with happy students cavorting around the classroom and enjoying English. It is a genuine thrill and I envy my friends who are teachers who get to do that on a regular basis with the proper experience and skill that teaching for a living imparts upon you.

Thirdly, through family and friends, a whole rash of babies and young children have entered my life in the past few years. Now I’ll be honest. Babies are really boring. Only if they are your own do they hold any real appeal. They moan, they cry, they have very little personality and they are incredibly demanding. They drive the parents crazy. It’s just the inevitable side-effect of 24/7 babytime.

But toddlers…toddlers are fun. For a start, you can talk to them. They are little people with individual personalities. You can play with them and hang out. Sure, they are, if anything, even more demanding than babies. But you get something back from a toddler. Babies just ask for your attention, get it and go to sleep if you’re lucky. Toddlers can actually lift you and make you feel good. So I suppose my attitude towards children has changed in the sense that I can actually envisage enjoying their company to some extent.

I’ve enjoyed the teaching, even if I have major reservations about the specific role of an ALT. I will miss being on my feet for 3 hours a day and the challenge of interacting with people on a personal level so regularly. But if I’m honest, I’d rather be a civil servant. Which is lucky, because that’s what I’ll be again on August 7^th.

I’m not pregnant by the way. I don’t have Danny Devito as my doctor. I’m really not.

Unwell Ramblings

Apologies for the lack of updates recently but I’ve been a little under the weather. Last week I started to feel a little strange during my special needs school visit and I haven’t been able to shake it off since. Nothing too serious, but enough to put a dampener on things.

I’m really excited for next week because two of my oldest friends are coming to visit. I haven’t seen them for ages and, well, I miss them. So it will be great to catch up and amuse ourselves with embarrassing teenage memories of kissing the wrong people and suchlike. Also, it will be good to show some friends around my patch as I haven’t really been able to do that yet. Doubtless this will take in yet another trip to the beautiful Korakuen. I must have been there 8 or 9 times now. I always enjoy it but each time I go am irritated that I never bought myself an annual pass as I:d have saved about 20 quid by now.

I was at my special needs school again today and it reminded me of what I meant to say in my last post. Going to the special needs schools has been in many ways a happy experience. But it has also been a little depressing and saddening at times. Many of the students will lead very limited lives in which there will be constant boundaries on what they are able to do. You get a huge outpouring of happiness from them. But speaking to the teachers, they tend to focus on the long term. One teacher commented that she finds it sad because so many of the students will grow up frustrated and irritated by the things they are unable to do. She also said that she finds it difficult knowing that a fair number of the students she teaches may not live that long. Dipping into the school is fine and the nature of my visits means that the students are generally happy because they are pleased to see me. But in many of the ways that matter, they can sometimes be deeply unhappy. When I think about my own circumstances and the things in my life that make me happy-the truth is that many of those things won’t be open to these kids as they develop into adults. It’s desperately sad, when you think about the reality of it.

I’m trying hard not to generalize too much here and I know the above does go slightly against the grain of what we are encouraged to think about disabled/differently abled people having as much potential for achievement and happiness as anyone else, so I hope I don’t sound like an arse in the above paragraph.

In other news, I’m heading to a rabbit-filled island on Sunday. It used to be a research and manufacturing centre for chemical weapons-now it is marketed like a petting zoo. Japan is strange sometimes.

Why don't you like Justin Bieber? Look at him.

Yesterday I was at one of my special needs schools. Of all the unexpected things that I’ve done here, this is the furthest outside my comfort zone. As I’ve said before, teaching was not the reason I came to Japan. It was merely the means by which I could live abroad and see an interesting country. I’d never spent any sustained time around special needs kids and I didn’t know what to expect really.

This particular school is massive. It has elementary, junior and senior high kids. It has the biggest staff room I have seen since arriving here-it’s like an aircraft hangar. There are often as many staff members as students in the lessons, particularly where the students require a lot of help and attention.

In some of the lessons, I have been introducing myself with my well worn self introduction materials that I have probably used about 30 or 40 times now. I’ve had to change them in order to keep it interesting for myself and I recently added AKB48 to my list of “Dislikes”, not because I especially dislike them but just because it always gets a reaction and I enjoy that. Previously, I used Justin Bieber for this purpose but sometimes younger students wouldn’t know who he was. In saying that, one of my students at my base school is always coming up to me with pictures of Justin Bieber and thrusting them under my face with a “why don’t you like him. Look at him Ben-senseii! Look at him!”

We also played some games in which I had to sing. I can’t sing. Not at all. I was okay at singing when I was very little but ever since my voice broke it’s been a fairly dreadful noise. But it was fun. None of the students or teachers could sing either and it was all about just trying to be enthusiastic and not being “above” it or letting on that you’re tired/embarrassed/whatever. I think they appreciate that. So much of being an ALT in Japan is about just doing exactly what you’re told to do but doing it with the right attitude and going out of your way to please people (whilst at the same time not showing too much initiative). In the end, people on youtube/forums/whatever go on and on about what this job is really about but I don’t think it’s all that different to any job back home. Regardless of your level of ability, just being professional, co-operative and calm goes 80% of the way to doing the job well. There’s a 20% which is natural teaching ability which, frankly, I don’t have. But there are other ways you can make up for this and if you are self-critical you can definitely improve over time, like in any job.

Anyway, it was a pleasure to play games with friendly kids all day. I’m really going to miss these random, testing experiences that I come across on a regular basis in my Japan life. I’m constantly having to stretch myself and that’s a really healthy thing. The other thing that I like about the special needs school is that it’s in a really beautiful part of Okayama and surrounded by the greenest rice fields and hills that you’ve ever seen. Every time I go there I get a huge buzz just from looking out the window.

In case it isn’t obvious from the above and from recent posts, I’m starting to freak out about leaving.

Cherry Blossom. Go.

What a week it’s been. Having returned from a stressful UK trip and simultaneously having had to consider an early break of contract and return home, it was reassuring to find that I can still have great times in Japan. Despite all the bad things going on back in England at the moment, it’s possible to go out and forget it all.

Making my own Joanna Newsom/Florence album cover. Maybe that's not a good thing.

In the space of two weeks, the climate, appearance and atmosphere of Okayama City have changed beyond recognition. The yellow fields have gone. The lush green shoots are rising and the landscape is returning to the beauty that was so overwhelming when we arrived back in August. I am convinced that I will never live somewhere as gorgeous as this ever again.

It’s comfortably warm too. This kind of comfortable short-sleeves weather has been pretty rare during our time in Japan. Meanwhile, the cherry blossoms are out. We are now at the end of a 10 day period during which the Okayama landscape turns pink. Traditionally, you are supposed to sit outside under the cherry blossoms and act with wild abandon. I was happy to do that.

It began with night time drinking. Aided and abetted by a Britfriend, we set up camp at sunset by the river. Elderly Japanese people kept walking past and each time I expected a glance of disapproval at the booze and fags. But instead, people seemed really happy that we were enjoying the blossom in the traditional way. No-one seemed censorious about the level of noise or anything like that. It was, and this is rare for Japan, relaxed.

It was great to spend a whole weekend together after some time apart whilst I was in the UK.

K and I hadn’t seen much of each other for the past couple of weeks as I’d been a)Out of the country and then b)Busy with odd bits and bobs. So we made time this weekend to spend some “quality” time in and around Okayama City. It was fun to spend lazy mornings together and to wander in the sunshine. We also went to see The Artist, which I like as much as you’d expect, knowing how pretentious I am. It was actually my second time seeing it and I enjoyed it just as much as the first time. Again, there’s a period of 15 minutes in the middle where it drags slightly but otherwise, it’s a treat and as light as chiffon cake. It was interesting to observe the Japanese audience as some of the cultural references are quite obscure to Japanese culture and it helps if you can lip-read English. But it seemed to go down really well and there were lots of laughs, especially at anything involving the dog. I love the scene where he comes across the pile of his auctioned-off possessions and whips the sheets off in a dramatic Dorian Gray-like fury.

Monday is my first lesson in about 6 weeks. There, in a nutshell, is the main problem with the JET programme in Okayama. But I am really looking forward to it. I love the teaching here. When it goes well it’s so satisfying and I get a warm feeling from watching my students improve. There are a million irritations to being an ALT. That’s for another post. But I get to be a teacher and that’s really something.

Feeling Useful

The last few days have been a lot of fun. On Wednesday and Thursday, a group of international students came to our school. My 2^nd year junior high students gave presentations about Japanese culture-anime, pop, food, architecture etc. One group even gave a presentation about natural disasters. It all went smoothly and I felt useful for the first time in months. It was also fun to meet a bunch of new people from all over the world.

The most enjoyable aspect for me was to watch them being tortured by the invasive questions of my students. “Do you have boyfriend”, “Do you love me”, “Do you like x-senseii” etc. I got a mischievous thrill, watching my students torture them in the same way they used to torture me. In the end, I had to ban all boyfriend-related questions!

In fact, I feel like I’ve made some real breakthroughs with the students recently. I feel like they are finally beginning to feel comfortable around me and they are increasingly approaching me, rather than having to be harassed to speak English. Admittedly, a fair proportion of this attention is of the teenage girl “KAWAII!” type, but that’s part and parcel of being a male foreign language teacher in Japan I think. You can utilize it to a certain extent to chat to students who might otherwise be shy of you, even if those conversations do sometimes descend into giggles and an inability to speak.

I’m very excited about Yakushima, though the weather forecast is slightly worrying. Yakushima is known for its high levels of rainfall and next week looks as if it will be no exception. We’ve decided to rent a car, which means we will have a fair bit of flexibility and respite if it really does bucket down. But I drive so rarely that I’m a bit nervous behind the wheel. I do like the freedom it gives you though-driving around the hills of Shikoku and across the Seto-Island Bridge (with Hefner in the background) was a truly memorable experience.

Leaving Japan

Is it weird that I’ve started scanning Ryanair and Easyjet for budget flights in October? This stems from my having less than five months left in Japan and needing something to look forward to after my return. But it still feels a bit early. Japan is an amazing place, but I’m facing up to the fact that I do have to leave soon. Coming to Japan was never likely to be a long term lifestyle change. The intention was always to stay for one year and to then return to the UK. But at the back of my mind, I knew that there was an opportunity to stay longer if that’s what I wanted.

I have a home and a long-term job to return to. But I’ve been reminded from others, just how frightening it is to not have any firm idea about what you are going to do with your life. There are a lot of JETs who really don’t know what they want to do after the programme and their position is not dissimilar to my own and that of my friends in the years immediately following university. But it’s actually worse for them than it was for us. I graduated at a time where there was generally work of some form available if you wanted it. Now, graduates are really gonna struggle to find any meaningful employment. There’s no growth in Britain, little economic stimulus and a high cost of living. It’s no wonder so many people are trying to stay in Japan for as long as possible.

But I will be returning and it’s tough to think that less than a week after I touch down at Heathrow, I will be back in my old job, continuing as if nothing has happened. There will be a day or two of “Hey Ben, how was it all” and then I won’t be able to talk about it too much, for fear of being a bore. I will be sitting at a desk in Westminster, trying to see what tangible gains I’ve made from living in Japan for a year. I know that I have benefitted greatly from my time here, but it will be tough to go back to the routine which in some ways motivated me to come to Japan in the first place.

I’m looking forward to seeing my friends. I’m excited that I will finally get to meet my godson and 2 new nephews. I also can’t wait to be reunited with my cat Daisy, even though I feel really bad for my friend who has been looking over her for the past year and will be understandably upset at having to give her up. And of course I’m looking forward to cohabiting once again. I also get weird urges to go to the book market on the South Bank.

I know I’m making the right decision. The amount of idle time on JET means that it’s not, on the whole, a satisfying job for me. I feel like I’m lazy, even though there are long periods where there is nothing I can do other than sit at my desk studying. And there are things in the UK that I want to do. But the lifestyle will be tough to leave behind. Living in a pleasant city, travelling every other weekend, friendly co-JETs, a welcoming local population and an intriguing culture. Who wouldn’t want that?

I know I’ve made the right decision and I certainly don’t want to be a JET after July. But it will be tough to leave.

This picture of Brett Anderson has nothing to do with the above article.

Mmm. Pies.

One feature of life as an ALT is that you receive constant requests to give presentations on cultural events in your home country. So far, I have given presentations about Christmas, Bonfire Night, Valentine’s Day and, bizarrely, Jewish immigration to East London.

It’s rare that you will have any choice in the topics. Schools are keen that their students should learn about life outside Japan and the presentations clearly play a helpful role in showing the kids that the world doesn’t end at the northernmost point of Hokkaido. The problem with these presentations though, is that it can be quite difficult to make the topics interesting for high school kids when teaching them in a foreign language. Also, it’s difficult to get beyond the surface of “Whoa-look how crazily different or weirdly similar our two countries are.”

Take Christmas, for example. In Japan, Christmas is celebrated solely as a consumer event. With a few exceptions, the fact that it is based on a religious premise is barely relevant to what people do on Christmas itself. Christmas day itself is not a national holiday and it mostly just consists of occasional presents to children and couples eating KFC bargain buckets. A good presentation about Christmas in the UK will cover, amongst other things, the fact that in the UK it’s a family event, that the country pretty much stops, the Christmas meal, Santa and the religious backstory.

All of the above makes for a pretty dull presentation that’s hard for the weaker kids to properly understand. With one exception. Any ALT will tell you that the primary goal in any presentation is to cause the kids to make the noise “eee?”. In Japanese, “eee?” basically means “What?!” or “I don’t understand.” I love it when I can get my class to say “eee?” loudly and in unison-"Eee?" is ALT-crack. If you can build at least three “eee?”s into a ten minute presentation then you have a hit on your hands. The easiest way to do this is to show the students pictures of food. Who would have thought we eat such large quantities of meat?! Aren’t fry ups disgusting?! What exactly is in black pudding?! All useful tools to have in your arsenal, yet all slightly clichéd, wacky views of life outside Japan.

"Eeee?!" guaranteed.

And the reality is that many people here have a fairly muddled sense of what life is like outside their home country. At JET orientation, one of the speakers said “The mere fact of your presence will contribute to internationalization in Japan.” At the time I thought “That sounds pleasingly effortless.” However, now I can see just how important it is. Merely meeting foreigners is a big deal for a lot of people here. I’m used to living in an international city and it can be shocking sometimes to hear Amsterdam described as “dangerous” by three separate people or to hear Chinese people constantly criticized for well, pretty much everything. These things are never done with any malice-it’s just that negative opinions about foreign countries are often presented as fact, rather than observation or discussion point.

I should add, that I’m not implying that race relations or cultural knowledge in the UK are in any way perfect. Obviously, they’re not.

But I think our presence really does have a positive impact. Much as cultural presentations bore me, I’m quite glad that a bunch of schoolkids now know about why lots of Jews moved to London and what a mince pie is. Just writing about this is making me crave mince pies. Mmmm. Pies.

Mmmm.