Acts of Kindness

Simple acts of kindness go a long way. I remember the first time I had to race for a train at Okayama Station. As I arrived on the platform, the doors closed and it began to move off. Then something amazing happened. The train stopped, the doors opened and the driver waved me on. Similarly, a few days ago I was stuck on the wrong side of a busy road, watching a tram about to move off from the tram stop on the other side. But the driver saw me and happily waited for the lights to change so that I could get on board.

Neither of these things would happen in London. Bus drivers’ overriding priority is to be on time and keep to the timetable. If someone is racing for the bus, then in about 75% of cases I don’t think the driver would bother to wait for them. Similarly, I cannot ever remember a train starting to move off from a platform and then stopping to let someone on. It’s not uncommon for the train doors to slam shut in your face, just as you start to climb on.

Every day I rely on these small acts of kindness. Each week at taiko, the group leader gives me a lift to the train station. My apartment is full of stuff that was donated by the teachers at my school. Bus drivers will make sure you get off at the correct stop, even if you don’t quite know when to press the bell. Waiters politely show you how to eat the trickier to understand dishes (this sometimes feels condescending, but in general I approve). Any time I mention somewhere that I’m thinking of visiting, my Japanese teacher will get hold of a brochure about the area. The Vice Principal at one school invited K and I to his house to learn how to make tempura. The lady at the dry cleaners asked me if there was anything she could help me with after I moved in. On my first night in Tokyo, I asked a BicCamera assistant to show me their watch section and she took me 100m down the road to show me a watch store.

I’ve complained previously here about the low expectations people have of me-but this is the other side to it. Now in some cases I know this is just part of people’s job description but even then, that still stems from their sense of responsibility towards me. Even better, this kindness is completely at odds with the negative stereotypes that some people back home have towards Japanese people. I hope that it’s not too much of a shock when I return to the UK.

The picture of Jarvis has nothing to do with the content of this article. I just wanted to post a picture of Jarvis looking hot.

Hitting stuff with sticks is fun.

So why have I been building up this coming weekend for so long?

In case it wasn’t clear from previous posts, I love snow. I can’t get enough of it. When it snows properly in London, I get very excited, pop JJ72’s Snow onto the stereo and head outside for snowball fights as soon as possible. In short, I revert to being a particularly immature 7 year-old. Equally, I once went ski-ing with my school and, along with amusing (but slightly cruel) memories of my friend mistaking sun block for after-sun and turning lobster-red, I have happy images of beautiful  white mountains  stored somewhere in my head. Also, Fox in the Snow. Yes, I am that wet.

I thought I should write something about taiko as I’m now starting to settle into a weekly rhythm with the classes. Taiko is a type of traditional Japanese drumming. Many ALTs do it, because it’s seen as a relatively straightforward way of meeting Japanese people in a non-work environment. It also  allows you to play at festivals and the learning curve is maybe less difficult than judo for example.

I haven't had to do it in my underwear yet.

However, despite first impressions, it isn’t easy. For a start, the initial practice session ripped my hands to shreds. I’m not sure if it was a poor technique on my part or the fact that I’ve never done a hard day’s work in my life-but the rubbing of the drum sticks tore the skin off by my thumbs on both hands. There was blood. The following session I developed some impressively gross blisters. At the time, I was more embarrassed by this than I was pained by it. I didn’t want to cause a fuss on my first session when I was trying to suppress the “big freak” factor.

This might sound obvious, but it is very gratifying to whack a big drum with some sticks. As it happened, yesterday was an irritating day for me as I encountered a new class that I’m going to be teaching regularly. They were far and away the worst behaved class I’ve come across since I arrived here and, whilst I kept my nerve, it was a real struggle. So it felt like a great release to be beating the crap out of something. Probably best not to get too caught up in what this says about my subconscious desires.

I practice for one hour with the elementary/junior high school school kids (who are super-cute, by the way) and then for an hour with an all-female adult class. The practice session with the kids is particularly fun, because they are still learning the basics, so I don’t feel too inept. They are also surprisingly tolerant of me-I have been trying very hard lately not to act clownishly and to try and play down the gaijin freak thing. This has paid off so far and I feel like I’m generally treated as a member of the club rather than as a special guest.

The adult group requires me to sit out and watch for long periods as they are more advanced than me and need to practice a particular piece that they will perform later this year. But they are very friendly and I get a real kick out of watching how enthusiastic they are. I’m not quite sure why I was put in with a female group. It might just have been that they wanted me to practice with the elementary school kids and the men’s group don’t meet on those days. They are very welcoming, but I think there would probably be more potential for socializing if I was doing it with guys instead.

The other thing I hadn’t realized was just how fit you need to be to do it properly. The main movement in taiko comes from your shoulders rather than biceps. You don’t just bang the drum but repeatedly lift your arms above your head with each stroke. Try holding your arms vertically above your head for any long period and you will get a sense of how tough it is. All the women are much fitter than I am (me being a lanky smoker with a taste for cream buns) but even they find it difficult sometimes. You could definitely make yourself pretty buff by doing taiko regularly. Body muscle is the last thing I want, but I may have to build up my arms a little if I’m going to be able to do it justice.

I’ve enjoyed working up a sweat once a week and throwing myself into a hobby that I can hopefully take back to the UK. In time, it would be good if it became more of a sociable thing, but that really relies on my Japanese skills improving. Whatever happens, it has been a rewarding experience. But most importantly, I get to hit things! With sticks!

Going, going....

Guess which of these characters I most wanted to *be*.

Today is my last day of being a twentysomething. I feel like a thirtieth birthday is a rather arbitrary way by which to measure oneself. It’s only a date and the age itself is not really of great importance to me. However, I’ve noticed that many other people back in England think that it’s a fairly big deal. I’m not sure whether this is because they genuinely think that it’s a great occasion to be celebrated or whether the reaction is tied up in the clichés around being 30 years old. The former is a more attractive conclusion than the latter-but it feels like people are going through a process they feel obliged to follow. Although I’m cynical about the whole thing, I still feel grateful to them for thinking of me.

What’s interesting in Japan though, is just how unbothered people are. I’ve experienced incredible acts of kindness here and people have gone to great lengths to help me. I’ve felt that this kindness towards foreigners exceeds anything that foreigners receive when in equivalent positions in the UK. So it’s funny that birthdays-or thirtieth birthdays-just aren’t a big deal here. If I were at work in the UK, people would be mentioning it for days and probably ripping the piss out of me. Here, nobody is bothered. Perhaps the reason for this is that gift giving and obligations are so numerous already that there isn’t space to make a fuss of people’s thirtieth birthdays. Besides which, maybe thirty isn’t considered such an important age here. They have a Coming of Age Day when people turn 20, after all. Whatever the reason, I am very grateful for the low key way I will be able to celebrate tomorrow.

I went to taiko (a form of Japanese drumming) practice tonight and there was no bleeding this time. A new blister is developing but it’s gratifying that people didn’t have to clean up my bodily fluids on this occasion (cue Kenneth Williams). My group are incredibly welcoming, even though we find it hard to communicate. That’s not to say they don’t think of me as a big, giant freak though, because they do. Sometimes I enjoy being the giant freak though.